Sunday, August 12, 2012

5 Reasons Why I Am Leaving Facebook


Several months ago I wrote an article called The Dark Side Of Social Media, which led me to consider making a radical decision I know will bring a positive change into our home.

I would like to share with you 5 reasons why I am choosing to cancel my personal account on Facebook.

Can you tell I like the number 5?  I have 5 reasons for everything!

Reason #5: It Wastes Emotional Energy

I find my timeline clogged with people expressing their personal frustration, negativity, and criticism; inciting debates, spewing vulgarity, and slandering politicians; sharing inappropriate personal things that should remain personal and bashing their husbands.

All of which is a waste of my precious time.  

But not only a waste of time - it is a waste of emotional energy.

After I have perused all the negativity, I am no longer physically exhausted from chasing a 2 1/2 year old and a 10 month old around, cleaning house, doing laundry, ironing, cooking, washing dishes and doing the 1,000 other things that must be done in a day

now I am emotionally assaulted by the blows of negative, vulgar, and criticism-laden Facebook posts that fill my timeline.

But the negativity aspect isn't the only reason I am canceling my account.

I must do what it takes to let peace abide in my home


Reason #4: It Wastes Precious Time

I find I spend way too much time scrolling through my timeline.  Until you find yourself without Internet for a season, you are not aware of how much time you waste on Facebook!  A few months ago, while switching Internet companies, we were without Internet for nearly a month.  I was amazed at how much extra time I had.  And I have felt guilty ever since at how much time is wasted on Facebook.

I want to manage my time wisely


Reason #3: It Gives A False Sense Of Friendship

I have found that many of the friends I have connected with don't really connect. (Being updated on someone's life isn't the same as being in fellowship with that person)  One reason why I haven't done this earlier is my fear of losing touch with friends with whom I have reconnected.  

People will make time for what is important to them

This truth sprung up in my heart like a fountain and gave me the courage to do what I should have done months ago.


Reason #2: It Has Caused Us To Lose the Art Of Communication

Sadly, we are a generation that does not know how to communicate.  At all.  We are too lazy to take up pen and paper and write a letter.  We don't even email anymore.  We don't think about what we are going to say and how to say it.  We don't consider how what we are saying might affect the listener or reader.  

Many don't even know how to spell or construct grammatically correct sentences.

We have replaced the time we used to spend penning a kind, thoughtful letter and making a trip to the post office with other "more important" tasks.  What can be more important than a thoughtful gesture that says, "I was thinking of you and took precious time out of my day to let you know"?

I want to learn to effectively communicate again


Reason #1: It Is a False Sense Of Reality That Distracts From What Is Really Here and Now

Social media is socializing that really isn't socializing.  The people on Facebook are not really here with me. But there are people who really are.  

My husband
My children
My neighbors
My "real-life" friends

But most importantly: My God

It's time to be with those are really here with me right now


Dear Friends - I am keeping my blog account, which will not be used to share personal things, but rather keep people up-to-date with what is happening with A Little R & R.  To the right you can connect with me via Twitter, Facebook, Google + and Pinterest.

You may also connect with me via email by visiting my contact page.



Linking up this week with:


Links to these blogs can be found here

45 comments:

Priscilla Fowler said...

I agree with all of the above! I've considered closing my account as well!

Dajana Sehic said...

Super si ovo napisala, ja još nisam došla do tako radikalne odluke, iako sam već odavno razmišljala upravo o ovome što si napisala, imaš apsolutno pravo! Možda te budem slijedila :-)

Ashley Ditto said...

This is a wonderful post! You are so right! I have canceled mine a few times, and now I check it rarely.

Marilyn Yocum said...

Absolutely.
Deactivated my account 10 months ago. Haven't regretted it yet.

Leslie Frances said...

I use mine to state in touch with out of state friends and family. Its nice to know what's going on or see pics of their little ones growing. Really the only way some of us stay in touch. It's all positive for me, I unfollowed all the negative people. I understand you decision and gals you shared.

Jelli said...

Loved the 5. I totally dislike FB, but use it to keep up (on occasion) with a few pals who live thousands of miles away. I wouldn't say it wastes too much of my time only because I rarely use it. Thanks for sharing! Found your post from The Better Mom. (I'm also a missionary mom!!) jellibeanjournals.blogspot.com

Malea said...

Those are all great reasons. I'm not closing my personal FB page, but I have severely curtailed my use of it. I also have become quite strict about my friend list, and regularly cull out those that are just "friend collectors" and who never engage. I do have a few groups of friends on FB with whom FB has allowed us to deepen our relationships, but I think that is rare. Few people are willing to dedicate the energy to truly connect with others when they aren't face-to-face.

But, I agree with everything you posted in your 5 reasons. If it wasn't for those select few friends, some penpals, and various relatives, I would most likely shut down my FB page too. Instead, I've just changed how/when I use it.

Wendy @ E1A said...

Wow! These are certainly all good reasons to leave FB!

messymarriage said...

I've toyed with the idea of getting off but always stay because it is an audience for my blog posts. That will be the only reason I stay on though. I agree with all of your reasons, Rosilind and commend you in making that decision. I hope it blesses you in many ways!

Marissa said...

I agree with you 100%! I want to delete mine too, but have yet to do it. I did remove it from my phone though. I got tired of it popping up every time someone said something on my page, annoying! Now I only check in with it if I feel like it, not because it is "paging" me.

Xo
Marissa

quityourdaydreaming.blogspot.com

Faye said...

A very wise decision Roz, it really does take a lot of time.

~Val said...

Good reasons ... I said the same things too every 6 months over the past three years and kept going back.


I go back to Fellowship; truth.


I do not keep negative 'friends' on my Friends List - if they get offended with being cut, they can always change the tune of their song and get with God's programs which is love, joy, peace, and harmony: negative vibes gotta go :-)


Some people do not leave their homes: FB is their only connection to the "outside". I stay to connect with them and share the love of Yeshua via the Internet.


If you decide to get back into FBland, just be wise about the people you befriend. Some people are about numbers (lookie - "I have 500 friends!"), some are about true friendships (5, 10, 15, 20). My rule of thumb is that if I do not hear at least once a week from those on my Friends List ... they're history because they are just there to lurk and gossip: not interested in that! Friends do not lurk and backbite or demean others, they share their lives with enthusiasm and encouragement.

Mary Beth said...

I have restrained my FB usage so much since I started the blog...I just don't have time for it anymore. I really only use my personal account for the groups I'm in. But I am very careful about who I am friends with and if they spew garbage I will either "defriend" them or hide their updates. You are right, it's too draining to pay attention to.


Thanks for linking up with WIP Wednesday!

SimmonsSoyCandles said...

After a strong conviction at the beginning of this year, my husband and i decided to shut both of our Facebook accounts down and at that very same time we had our cable turned off as well. We are to guard our eyes and ears from anything inappropriate and with Facebook and cable television that was just impossible to do. And you're right about the time you waste. You truly don't realize how much time has gotten away from you and how much more productive you could have been.
We have found that the family is spending more quality time together. We communicate with each other. We read books and accomplish so much more now than we have in the past. We are less irritable with each other. Most importantly we have more time to spend with God.

Sanjushka said...

Baš šteta, falit ćeš mi, pogotovo kad se odselite.

SimplyHelpingHim said...

Please keep in touch friend....I know I haven't known you long, but I love your lil corner ;) Thank you for linking up at Simply Helping Him. Blessings sis!

Lori Ramsey said...

I agree with you on this, I still have my account, but I pretty much stay away. It does drain me emotionally. I am sure you will be much happier. I may at some point cut the ties too, just to save my emotional well-being.

Lauren said...

Yes, it is so important that we make time for what's important. I still have a FB account, but don't scroll. I just use it to post blogs and scripture mostly, or encouraging words. :) Lauren, lholmes79.wordpress.com

Diana Denis said...

I had a big clean up party and deleted all the people that were dumping on Facebook and ultimately dumping on me. My timeline is full of Bible scriptures, happy updates on family and ministry, prayer requests and silliness. Good for you for already experiencing the benefits of that decision.


I have to say you've given me something to think about here: "Being updated on someone's life isn't the same as being in fellowship with that person". <--Love this line

Sarah Coller said...

Ok, I've been kicking this around for awhile now but this post cinches it. Deleting my account now. Thanks for the push! :)

Mrs. Sarah Coller

A Little R & R said...

Thank you for stopping by and commenting!

A Little R & R said...

Hvala ti draga!! Pusa!!!!

A Little R & R said...

Thank you for your kind comment.

A Little R & R said...

So far I haven't regretted it either. :)

A Little R & R said...

Thank you for leaving your link. I look forward to checking your blog out! I love following fellow missionaries! Thank you for stopping by!

A Little R & R said...

So true. I think in general we've grown to be a very disconnected culture. People are lonely, but do not know how to truly invest themselves in deep relationships. It's sad. Thank you for stopping by!

A Little R & R said...

Thank you, Wendy!

A Little R & R said...

I kept my blog page going for that very reason. Thank you very much for stopping by and commenting. Be blessed!

A Little R & R said...

Thank you dear Faye!!

A Little R & R said...

Val - you bring up a very valid argument and I am so glad you stopped by and left a comment. I have been a member of a website for many years where many shut-ins and widows are members - and you are right...this is their connection to the outside world and it makes a huge difference in their life. Thank you very much for your advice. And you are right: Friends do not backbite, demean and gossip. Something we all need to be reminded of! Blessings!!!

A Little R & R said...

Thank you for stopping by and commenting. This is good habit to learn. I wish I would have done this long ago - just purge my friends list...before it became overwhelming. :) Good lesson for next time. Be blessed!!

A Little R & R said...

Znam draga - ali budemo ostali u kontaktu. Saljem ti email danas da se dogovorimo da se nademo iduci tjedan.

A Little R & R said...

Definitely staying in touch!! It's crazy how you meet someone and feel like you've known them all your life. I love friendships like that. We'll definitely stay in touch!!

A Little R & R said...

I'm amazed at how many people feel this way, too. Thank you for stopping by and commenting!

A Little R & R said...

Great idea, Lauren. Thank you for leaving your link - I'll stop by and leave you a comment today!

A Little R & R said...

Good idea! That is a great change to make...dump the negative and fill yourself with those who encourage and build up! thank you for such an encouraging comment. I am so glad you stopped by! Have a great weekend!

A Little R & R said...

Sometimes all we need is a slight push. *grin* I am glad you stopped by yesterday. Have a great weekend!!!

SimplyHelpingHim said...

I know right? I'm so blessed to have found your corner, thus you! :) Blessings dear friend!

European Dreams said...

Woohoo! Well said! We just spent a week unplugged from everything (that blog is coming shortly) and I was amazed at what an incredible week we had. I don't think I will cancel my FB account altogether, as it's a way for our faraway family to see pics of the kids whenever they please, but I am limiting myself to only stopping by FB twice a week. That's a start at least!

Dawn St Amand Paoletta said...

The most convicting line of the whole thing for me was But most importantly :My God! Bam. Busted. I have been feeling that nudge all day. Come away...off of Facebook, the internet, Pinterest. Great Post! Found you through the Titus Tuesday link up where you were featured!

April S said...

Good for you! It is so true. How many times my husband and I are talking to each other while we are both scrolling through FB on our phones... And most of my friends don't actually post even about what is going on with them or the kids - its all the joke posters and news links and games - and I'm guilty of doing the same thing. Many of my "friends" take jabs at their spouses or other friends in a totally inappropriate, passive-aggressive way through their FB posts. Not that I blame FB but it is no longer what it once was.

A Little R & R said...

Yes - it is nice to unplug sometimes. I am thinking of making it a regular habit - like a fast. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

A Little R & R said...

I am afraid many times that the "noise" of everything around me is so distracting that I cannot stop what I'm doing and just enjoy his presence. Thank you for stopping by and commenting - it was very encouraging!

A Little R & R said...

You are right, FB isn't to blame...but there is a certain sense of freedom that we might not otherwise feel. I know exactly what you are talking about - because I noticed the very same thing. And yes, it no longer is what it was.

Stacy Duncan said...

I found your blog on a linkup with Women Living Well, and I just wanted to share that I really enjoyed it! I'm a fellow non-facebooker, and was wondering if you are still away from the facebook scene? You can find me at http://stacyduncan.blogspot.com I'd love to hear from you